There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
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