Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?

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  (631): Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach? http://tfl.nu/iba6
  Replies (10) Good night (1428) Bad night (571)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.

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  (931): Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/ee6d
  Replies (5) Good night (2195) Bad night (745)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men

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  (804): Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men http://tfl.nu/7ncn
  Replies (39) Good night (1256) Bad night (2550)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.

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  (815): I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed. http://tfl.nu/ikx6
  Replies (21) Good night (5962) Bad night (1345)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.

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  (210): He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax. http://tfl.nu/uaku
  Replies (14) Good night (1283) Bad night (7843)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk

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  (713): I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk http://tfl.nu/90hq
  Replies (7) Good night (1310) Bad night (2906)
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  (530): View more from California

  the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.

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  (530): the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been. http://tfl.nu/so6l
  Replies (8) Good night (903) Bad night (3143)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go

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  (215): i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go http://tfl.nu/3dxd
  Replies (8) Good night (7003) Bad night (990)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer

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  (239): Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer http://tfl.nu/egws
  Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (724)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box

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  (703): He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box http://tfl.nu/9koo
  Replies (8) Good night (1015) Bad night (579)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal

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  (201): It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal http://tfl.nu/8mo5
  Replies (2) Good night (829) Bad night (299)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.

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  (231): It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud. http://tfl.nu/k8j8
  Replies (5) Good night (551) Bad night (378)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking

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  (513): He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something (513): Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking http://tfl.nu/a3rg
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (670)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.

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  (337): Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again. http://tfl.nu/azre
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (472)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.

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  (352): You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on. http://tfl.nu/uyd0
  Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (313)

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