Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!