and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
