How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
40s are totally the cure
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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