haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
