all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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