yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
