you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
