I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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