I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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