You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
