Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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