Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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