FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
