I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
