Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
