is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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