I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize