I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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