I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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