I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
