my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
