ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
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so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
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I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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