I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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