Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
