hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
