where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
