I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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