Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
