What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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