how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
