Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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