The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
