ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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