party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
