we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I had to cum in my sink.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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