please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
