I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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