Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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