loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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