i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
