Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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