so that wasnt chicken after all
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize