question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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