That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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