careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
