Your tits are I can't wait for
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize