So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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