so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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