I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
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Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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