i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
