wanna go halves on a baby?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
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I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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