that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my shit smells like andre
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
