i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
