I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
