I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
