it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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