How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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